Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
