if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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