she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
