And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
