I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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