I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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