My nipple is on Facebook.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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