Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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