If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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