No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
