At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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