I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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