What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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