Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
