You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
