Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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