he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
