roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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