Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
