So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
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There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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