Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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