the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize