I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
