fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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