I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
