i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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