this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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