I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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