How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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