it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
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I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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