Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
