Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize