If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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