Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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