let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
