to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
