you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
