Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize