Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ladies don't puke and tell
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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