How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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