We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
