wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
