Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
