i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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