just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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