I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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