Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
