Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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