yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
