Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't