I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
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Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you