i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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