Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
